If your wedding is the biggest on the planet and yet the foundations of your marriage are weak then you are headed for trouble. At the same time, your wedding may be the smallest in Nigeria but if the foundations of your marriage are solid then you are headed for a successful marriage.
Aso-Ebi is a traditional attire chosen by a side of the family either the bride or groom for their guests. Aso-Ebi syndrome has ended a lot of people’s relationships or marriages because some women spend all their earnings and savings on these garbs and forget to cater to important things at home such as children’s school fees and meals at home.
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Some of these garbs cost as much as 150,000 Naira (471.00 USD at the time of this post) per wedding, and the norm is not to repeat them once worn. So let’s imagine you are invited to seven weddings, this means you will have to multiply 150,000 Naira by seven weddings, I am not a mathematician but by my calculations, we arrive at a cost of over one million Naira. Hence, by the time you have attended just seven weddings you have spent over one million Naira on attending weddings.
One Million Naira, if invested well, can generate amazing returns that can be put towards more worthwhile endeavors. Some Nigerian women are so prolific at subscribing to the idea of buying Aso Ebi for weddings that they might as well be called the Honorable Ministers of Aso Ebi Affairs. The sad thing is that Aso-Ebi syndrome is a huge epidemic in our beloved country.
Wedding vs Marriage
No one talks about how to make marriages work anymore instead most of the focus is placed on the wedding itself which is superficial and shallow at best. In Nigeria, we have become so caught up with celebrating weddings and the glamour associated with weddings that the intricacies of what makes a marriage successful are completely ignored.
So I hereby declare; “If your wedding is the biggest in Nigeria and yet the foundations of your marriage are weak then you are headed for trouble. At the same time, your wedding may be the smallest in Nigeria but if the foundations of your marriage are solid then you are headed for a successful marriage.”
Some brides, as a result of their social status and the status of their husband, change and act “brand new” towards their old friends. They make crazy demands towards the planning of their wedding. Some brides rent bridesmaids or screen their old friends who can’t afford the wedding plans.
Wedding based on debt
As a result of the pressure to have a fairy tale wedding or “wedding of the year” some couples exceed their budget, sometimes get into debt from owing wedding planners, caterers or artist who performed at the wedding. Real life cases in Nigeria have seen couples owing between 10 and 15 million Naira after a wedding ceremony.
My advice to young Nigerians making their way to the altar is to do what makes you and your family happy and to make sure you don’t fall into the trappings of impressing other people. Lest you’ll forget as many of us have, that a wedding lasts a day, while a good marriage lasts a lifetime.
*Read More when my book is out* God willing Summer 2015.