Don’t bring baggage from your last relationship into a new or potential relationship
Baggage in this text refers to past emotional experiences, various cognitive archetypes and your mindset after your last relationship.
Most people today both gentlemen and ladies still carry on their backs all the hurt and pain that was caused by their ex. They allow these negative past experiences to dictate their lives and who they are dating next.
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Some ladies have developed a predetermined mindset about men. They think everyone is like their ex and they don’t even give new guys a chance to prove themselves. These ladies say things like “All guys are the same”, “I’ve signed off from guys”, “I’m done with dating”, “No more Yoruba guys for me”, “No more Nigerian men”, “My ex was Christian so no more Christian guys”.
All these thoughts act as a loop hole or a bridge between some ladies and their dream man or happiness. What these ladies don’t know is that they are indirectly still dating their ex if the thought of him still dictates who they should date or give chances. It is very beneficial to go into any relationship with a clear mind and clean slate (Tabular Rasa).
Most ladies are scared of getting hurt again that’s why they hold on to the past. The ideal and smart thing to do is to embrace your past, learn from it and use that knowledge as a guide in your new relationship so you don’t make the same mistakes and you can identify early red flags. May our Emotional baggage not hinder us from our happiness and self actualization. Amen!