This Article is inspired by a friend of mine who caught the bouquet 12 times and was also a bridesmaid 15 times. She is newly married and asked me to write this so other aspiring brides can learn from her experience of being pressured by family and society to stop attending weddings and buying “aso-ebi”.
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With some friends making fun of her and calling her “27 dresses” in reference to the Hollywood movie. There are certain cultural, societal, and parental pressures or stereotypes associated with a lady who is single and very active at a lot of her friends engagement and wedding ceremonies.
The irony is that when a lady who is single and searching isn’t socially active she is criticized for not putting herself out there. These pressures mentioned above sometimes can derail or put a dent in a person’s personality or self worth.
For example with regards to parental pressure, some Nigerian parents put both direct and indirect pressure on their children when it comes to marriage and weddings.
Some parents make comments like; “All your friends are married you’re busy buying Aso-ebi every weekend”, “You keep bringing souvenirs home, when will we share yours”, “If you put this much effort into planning your own wedding as opposed to Tala’s wedding, you’ll be married by now”.
With regards to cultural or societal pressure; Friends and associates most times have an opinion about how many weddings you attend, some friends even calculate how much you spend on tailors, shoes and Gels (Gele is a traditional head tie) in preparation for a wedding.
These same friends, if I may call them that criticize you for coming out on wedding blogs or magazines and make fun and call you names like 27 Dresses, Ms Aso-ebi , Chairlady of Gele affairs and so on.
All these variables and comments may be hurtful and sometimes a burden but your life is your life and not to be lived for anyone else’s pleasure. From a psychological standpoint anyone whose personality is easily changed or pressured to change for issues which aren’t malignant in nature isn’t fully developed or self confident.
Live your life based on what makes you happy and what is beneficial to you not the norms or standards that society has created.
If you have any thoughts on this post, please let me know in the Facebook comments section below.
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