Ladies! Stop Dating Guys in the Same Circle.

Do not lose your brand-new effec
Do not lose your brand-new effect

You’ll Lose Your Brand-New Effect

Based on Direct and Indirect observation I’ve gathered that some ladies date the same group of guys, guys in the same social circle or clique. The irony is that these ladies who date guys in the same clique always expect a different result in terms of relationship progress or mutual respect from guys in the same clique or their peers but most times it doesn’t happen.

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In Psychology, there’s a sampling technique known as “randomization” which is assigning participants to a group by allowing them all have equal chances of being chosen so as to achieve a standard result or standard opportunity. This being said, ladies if you want equal and justifiable opportunity for meeting a guy, don’t date or mingle with guys in the same circle over a long period of time because….

  1. you won’t have that “WOW” , “OMG who’s she effect” because they already know a lot about you.
  2. They may start looking at you like one of the guys and friend zone you automatically.
  3. Guys gossip more than girls and you’d be surprised what the boys in the circle may have shared about you, they may know every dimple and scar on your body.
  4. you may end up being a conquest. A guy may be like since Akin, Emeka and Tunde have had her I must have her too.
  5. Guys like to Showoff their girlfriends to friends so who will they show you off to if you’ve dated 3 of their friends.
  6. some guys will think they basically know your life history and will be blocking potentials from coming your way by spreading your gist.

There are so many guys in different parts of the country with various backgrounds who are equally successful, handsome, God fearing and are willing to settle down so don’t limit yourself to a group or segment because by doing this you’re limiting your chances or opportunity to meet someone who won’t judge you for what his friends said about you but give you a clean slate and allow you prove yourself to him without third party opinions or extraneous variables.

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Letter to “I just got back” Ladies. Part III

An Open Letter to the "I just got back ladies"
An Open Letter to the “I just got back ladies”

Case Study: JOB OPPORTUNITIES

The Nigerian work force has been saturated with so many graduates from all parts of the world, some with even double and triple degrees : Bsc, Msc, PhD, MBA etc. To find a job now is such a daunting task. I’ve overheard some “IJGB” / foreign trained people make remarks like” I can’t believe that person has a job and he attended OSU or University of Ibadan??

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Some “IJGB” believe that jobs should run to their back doors and because of their foreign certificate they deserve job opportunities more than Nigerian trained employees. Industrial Psychologist and Consultants alike have asserted that it is not by your certificate that you move up in the corporate world but by your “On The Job” Attitude and Performance.

It doesn’t matter where you schooled. Your attitude to work, commitment, team-work, skills/ participation determine your success and result.

When companies do their monthly or yearly Performance Appraisal there is no separate sheet for foreign and Nigerian trained employees, only a separate sheet for those who perform well and those who do not.

SUMMARY

Your Family background or Academic background should not determine how you treat or relate with people. Give people chances to prove themselves to you don’t make decisions or friends based on stereotypes.

Your road to SELF ACTUALISATION is not dependent on your degree or certificate alone but a cumulation of your Personality, Charm, Confidence , “Packaging”, drive, prayers and Most Importantly your ability to blend and adapt to new environments. God Bless

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Letter to “I just got back” Ladies. Part II

An Open Letter to the "I just got back ladies"
An Open Letter to the “I just got back ladies”

Case Study: RELATIONSHIPS

Some “IJGB” ladies who are fresh off the boat develop a Superiority Complex towards dating and meeting guys in Nigeria they believe that some “Naija” are not Posh enough for them.

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A Scenario Of These Interactions Play Out.

Doktormofin: “Pamela, my friend likes you, he thinks you’re so fine, he asked for your number. Should I give him?”

Pamela: “What’s his name? What Uni did he attend?”

Doktormofin: “His name is Jide , he attended Ekiti state University, he is a Medical Doctor.”

Pamela: “God forbid bad thing, he is not on my level “abeg”, my father did not pay €60,000 tuition for me to date Jide from Ekiti State University.”

They look down on guys, they are too picky, their standards are too high, they neglect personality traits of some guys and rather focus on what university he attended, what he drives and where he stays? Island or Mainland? The irony is that some “IJGB” ladies stay single for 3 or 4 years after they moved back to Nigeria and when reality sets in, they tend to go back to the initial guys who they rejected and said were too “random” or “basic”.

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Letter to “I just got back” Ladies. Part I

An Open Letter to the "I just got back ladies"
An Open Letter to the “I just got back ladies”

Case Study : Nigeria.

Who is an “IJGB”? Any Lady who recently moved back from some specific foreign countries : USA, UK, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Ireland etc can be referred to as an “I just got back lady”.

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Based on Direct and Indirect Observation I found the need to write an article to some people i.e: guys/ladies who fall into this category because of some behavioural traits they posses which may not help them assimilate and adapt to their current environment which is Nigeria.

Social Psychologists believe that any individual who can successfully blend in 2 or more environments can easily gain success or the Appropriate Interactive skills for success. Disclaimer: This Article does not apply to all “IJGB” People / Ladies.

LAW SCHOOL

It is not breaking news that there has always been a very heated tension between Foreign Trained Lawyers and Nigerian Trained Lawyers. Foreign trained lawyers enroll in Bar 1 while Nigerian trained lawyers join the “IJGB” in Bar 2 where they all meet to pursue their dreams to become Lawyers. Based on interviews and surveys from some people I know in law school both Nigerian and Foreign Trained Lawyers.

Some “IJGB” look down on Nigerian trained lawyers, they refer to them as the “Locals”, they have little or minimal contact with them, they don’t want to sit beside the “locals” or Nigerian trained lawyers, they make fun of their dictions; saying they have “H” factor and “R” factor. The major cause of the disagreement is that some “IJGB” believe that they are superior to Nigerian trained and Nigerian trained lawyers are jealous of their fancy accents and degrees.. It was was said that some Nigerian trained lawyers have inferior complex for the “IJGB” hence they act defensively towards them.

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