joromofin
Ladies! Should The Size Or Price Of The Engagement Ring Matter?
If your man isn’t financially equipped or can’t afford the “rock” or ring of your dreams and yet proposes, would you accept or reject his proposal?
[expander_maker more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
This article is inspired by an interesting story I heard from a close friend about a guy who proposed to his two year girlfriend with a ring which could be referred to as a “Full Stop” or “Dot ring” i.e the rock was so small and displeasurable to her.
She said “YES” and accepted the ring but didn’t wear it often or put the standard ring finger picture on social media. After a few weeks her boyfriend got angry and confronted her about not posting the ring out there or telling anyone, she lashed out and said this isn’t the ring of “my” dreams. They got into a fight which eventually led to their breakup.
Hence my question, should or does the size of the ring or rock matter in saying yes to your man? This issue requires a situational approach or solution as we all have different personalities, family backgrounds, or orientations.
In my opinion a ring should serve as a symbol of love or an interest in starting a new life with another person, the price of the ring should be based on your pocket or account at the time. The size of the ring should not matter what matters is the gesture or idea that someone wants to spend the rest of their life with you.
Most guys want to give their lady a big rock but what if there are more pressing issues like rent, business projects, or health issues. Should a man ignore these things or empty his account for a big Diamond? As a couple you can always upgrade your ring in time as you grow financially.
Competition amongst friends has made it a “sine qua non”, that is, an essential for ladies to have a big diamond on their engagement rings. Some ladies adapt their gait and the way they walk to match the size of their new rings. Some go to the extent of placing their fingers a certain way so the world can see their newly acquired symbol of marraige.
If that ring was very small, tiny, or cheap, would u walk and flash your engagement ring in a way that causes our eyes to squint?
Do what works for you in your own clime. Don’t pass on love the of a good man because of a variable that can be made a constant in due time.
What do think? Please let us know in the comments section below.
[/expander_maker]
What is your “Plan B” aka Contingency Plan?
“Plan B” aka Contingency Plan.
Is it acceptable or fruitful to have another option aside your boyfriend? or girlfriend? Not a SideChick/ mistress but a PLATONIC / Non Sexual friend who you may see as a potential if your current significant other jumps ship or leaves you.
[expander_maker more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
Behavioral Contingency in Psychology is the act of an individual to consciously or unconsciously prepare themselves for failure therefore creating other options. This article is inspired by a friend’s friend who wasn’t the best boyfriend to his girlfriend they dated for 3 years and she gave him a long rope of chances despite his callous behavior and infidelity.
They broke up and 3 months later she got engaged to a Platonic friend who she had always had around her. Now her former boyfriend is raising hell saying she had been cheating on him too and her wedding won’t hold.
Some ladies today go into relationships and cut everybody off both their female and male friends, their morning, afternoon and night revolves round their man. They stop or totally reduce simple things like drinks, movies or clubbing with friends because they have a man or of their man isn’t coming they aren’t going.
My question is ; is it safe to live a 100% devoted life to your man without any male friends when he hasn’t fully committed to you? The lady referred to in this article got a positive result because she had a contingency plan; but this may not always work because having a Platonic plan B may divert your attention, lead to infidelity and create a void in your relationship.
In my Opinion; although a plan B or contingency gives you a relationship insurance which makes a sudden breakup less lethal or detrimental because some people after long relationships don’t find people to date or are even no longer interested in dating I.e emotionally scared. There should be no need for a plan B because it diverts your attention from your primary objective and creates less commitment or devotion. Going into a relationship with a Spare tyre mindset brings extraneous variables and may must times lead to SideChicks/SideGuys. Do what works for you in your own situation and environment.
[/expander_maker]
Side Chick And The Pursuit of Unattainable Men
This topic is one of the most common social and maladaptive issues or problems of our generation. Before I begin I’d like to define two concepts.
- Side Chick
- Unattainable men
[expander_maker more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
Sidechick
This is a Lady who is intentionally or unintentionally in love or infatuated with a man who has committed to another lady by law or love i.e. he has a girlfriend or wife.
Unattainable men
This type of man is deeply committed to another lady and most times has a lot of wealth or success. This being said, it’s so sad today to see a lot of young, bright, beautiful, and well educated ladies waste years or months of their lives in pursuit of unattainable men.
To be fair and honest some ladies do not know that some of these men are married or have a girlfriend because some men are skilled in hiding their significant other. But there are some ladies who are fully aware that a man is taken and has a family but still fall in love with him, which ends up distracting him from his basic duties to his family.
Often both women will place financial demands on him, plan separate birthday parties for him, travel with him before or after Valentine’s day, send nude pictures to him, some even go as far as attacking or prank calling his wife from time to time. They tell the man’s wife things like “my breast is your mans pillow” or “please feed your man i’m tired of cooking for him”.
My Questions
Why dedicate your life to a man that may never be yours? Why play number two or believe a man when he tells you he’ll make you number one, Why breakup a happy home? Why be with a man who left his wife or girlfriend for you?
If he leaves his wife or girlfriend for you? How are you sure he wouldn’t do the same to you? Why build the foundation of your relationship on someone’s sorrow? It is valid to assert that some of the ladies who this applies to are living in a “self inflicted fantasy” where their minds and cognition are fixed on having a fairy tale ending with another Lady’s Man or husband. Efforts should be put into building your own relationships not hijacking another persons own.
[/expander_maker]
12 Bouquets And 15 Dresses
This Article is inspired by a friend of mine who caught the bouquet 12 times and was also a bridesmaid 15 times. She is newly married and asked me to write this so other aspiring brides can learn from her experience of being pressured by family and society to stop attending weddings and buying “aso-ebi”.
[expander_maker more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]
With some friends making fun of her and calling her “27 dresses” in reference to the Hollywood movie. There are certain cultural, societal, and parental pressures or stereotypes associated with a lady who is single and very active at a lot of her friends engagement and wedding ceremonies.
The irony is that when a lady who is single and searching isn’t socially active she is criticized for not putting herself out there. These pressures mentioned above sometimes can derail or put a dent in a person’s personality or self worth.
For example with regards to parental pressure, some Nigerian parents put both direct and indirect pressure on their children when it comes to marriage and weddings.
Some parents make comments like; “All your friends are married you’re busy buying Aso-ebi every weekend”, “You keep bringing souvenirs home, when will we share yours”, “If you put this much effort into planning your own wedding as opposed to Tala’s wedding, you’ll be married by now”.
With regards to cultural or societal pressure; Friends and associates most times have an opinion about how many weddings you attend, some friends even calculate how much you spend on tailors, shoes and Gels (Gele is a traditional head tie) in preparation for a wedding.
These same friends, if I may call them that criticize you for coming out on wedding blogs or magazines and make fun and call you names like 27 Dresses, Ms Aso-ebi , Chairlady of Gele affairs and so on.
All these variables and comments may be hurtful and sometimes a burden but your life is your life and not to be lived for anyone else’s pleasure. From a psychological standpoint anyone whose personality is easily changed or pressured to change for issues which aren’t malignant in nature isn’t fully developed or self confident.
Live your life based on what makes you happy and what is beneficial to you not the norms or standards that society has created.
If you have any thoughts on this post, please let me know in the Facebook comments section below.
[/expander_maker]
